Entertainment
by Meyzen
Summary: Stephanie discovers she is entertainment. Not cannon. One shot which has grown to 3 short chapters. . Mild bad language alert.
1. Chapter 1

It's been a challenging week at work and I needed to blow off some steam. All characters belong to Janet, I'm just borrowing them for entertainment.

* * *

Storming into my apartment I kicked the door closed, threw my messenger bag on the couch, and marched into the kitchen. I was a woman on a mission. I needed a beer, tequila would have been preferable, but I knew I had beer in the fridge and that would have to suffice.

I was pissed beyond words and paced back and forth in the tiny space, hoping the movement would burn off some of the fury throbbing through my veins. In reality I just wanted to be close to the fridge so I could grab another beer as soon as I downed this one.

I should have confronted him. I should have torn him a new one on the spot. But I was paralysed with disbelief. How could he? I was embarrassed, hurt, and angry, and simply had to get out of there as soon as possible. I know he saw me, at first he didn't realise I had walked in, but he was alerted to my presence by the deafening silence when everyone realised what I had overheard. I couldn't believe he had been treating me as some form of entertainment. They were laughing over my mishap earlier in the day and when I realised that I was the object of their humour I all but ran out of the building.

Anger flared again and I battled the urge to hurl the now empty bottle against the wall. As satisfying as the sound of shattering glass may feel, the thought of cleaning up the mess helped check my actions.

I tossed the empty bottle into the sink and grabbed another, chugging almost half in one go. Leaning back against the kitchen counter I rolled the cold glass against my face, hoping to cool my skin as well as my temper. I was done with being other people's entertainment.

My blood pressure was just receding to somewhere near the range of normal when I heard the lock tumble on my door. Surely he wouldn't be so stupid to try and talk to me now?

Yeah, it appears he is.

"Cupcake, you need to hear me out. You need to let me explain."

"Explain what Joe? That you're the one who has been running the book at the station this whole time? That you're the reason money seems to change hands whenever I'm at the station or a car blows up?"

"Cupcake stop being so dramatic. It's just a bit of fun. It's not hurting anyone."

"Not hurting anyone? _You fucking asshole_. I can't believe you have so little regard for me. At least I don't have to second guess our relationship any more. Now get out."

Joe took a step towards me, hands up in a gesture of calm and appeasement. "Cupcake. I'm sorry, I didn't think. Just calm down and lets grab a drink and talk."

I slammed my drink on the counter and reached for my cookie jar. Joe did a double take as I drew out my gun and aimed it at him.

"Calm down? I don't think so Morelli. We're done talking. For good. Now get out." He hesitated as though to continue arguing but wisely realised I was not joking. "Take my key off your key chain, and leave in on the hall table on your way out. I'll be reporting your activities to Chief Juniak, and if you ever come here again I'll put a cap in your ass."

I never took my eyes off him as he edged backwards towards the door in disbelief, careful not to turn his back on me. Even after he had followed my instructions and closed the door behind him, I stood for several minutes with the gun aimed at the door. I truly think if he had come back through it I may have shot him. I'd been trying for years to find out who was running the books on me at the PD to no avail. Now I know why.

And to think my mother wanted me to marry this asshole.

* * *

 _TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

I couldn't help myself, thanks to the awesome people who reviewed my little late night effort at a one shot I was compelled to add another chapter that was rattling around in my head.

Have a great day everyone :-)

* * *

My gun was still pointed at the door when the locks tumbled again. _WTF._ Who the hell was it now? Surely Joe didn't have another key and wouldn't be stupid enough to walk back in?

The rage within had not dissipated and I was now running on an adrenaline high. That was the only reason I could think that held me so calm and in control.

My unexpected guest froze on the spot and the slight smirk that graced his face quickly disappeared as he realised there was a gun pointed at his chest.

Our eyes locked and time seemed suspended as neither of us moved.

I must have temporarily lost my mind, it was the only reason that could explain why I flicked off the safety when he took a tentative step towards me. He stilled, wary, assessing my reaction.

"Babe?" Being fluent in Ranger-speak I recognised this one word question to mean what is wrong? What are you doing? Why are you pointing a gun at me? No one else I know can ask three questions with one word.

"I wasn't expecting visitors. I've had a bad day. You should leave." I had given Joe his marching orders for treating me as some form of entertainment and now it was Ranger's turn. I'd had enough.

"I heard you had a run in with Morelli."

"News travels fast. Did you know all this time he was running the books at the TPD."

Ranger eyed me warily and chose his words with careful deliberation.

"No. I suspected. But we could never get proof." His face was blank, devoid of any emotion, but I believed him. Ranger has never lied to me. "Babe. Put the gun down and let me take you to dinner. It sounds like you had a rough day."

I shook my head slowly, never breaking eye contact.

"I'm done with being people's entertainment. Or a line item in someone's budget."

I had a brief moment of gratification when I saw the flicker of remorse in his eyes.

"Babe that was an insensitive comment and a long time ago. You've trained hard and proven yourself more than capable, despite the number of crazies that seem to delight in trying to make your job as difficult as possible."

His words did soothe my bruised and damaged self-esteem a little, but my fury and outrage were not going to be easily quelled.

We stared at each other in silence as he waited for me to respond. "I want to be alone. Please leave." I was in no mood to talk or offer any explanation.

He considered my request and acknowledged it with a barely perceptible nod of his head. "Call me if you need anything. The offer of dinner still stands if you change your mind. I'll lock the door behind me. Stay safe." And with that he was gone.

Damn that man. How can he turn me from being pissed off and dangerous to wanting to rip his clothes off and ravish him. I felt a little guilty that I had held a gun on him and he simply responded with concern for my well-being. Shrugging off the incident I reached for my beer, if a pissed off Jersey girl with a gun says _leave,_ you leave.

* * *

Ranger's POV.

I always knew I was a sick bastard and the scene that just played out in Stephanie's apartment has reinforced that knowledge. I should have been pissed that she was pointing a gun at me and wouldn't back down, but instead I now had a raging hard on. Having her stand up to me was a serious turn on.

I'd always regretted my stupid offhand remark about her being a line item in my entertainment budget and thought that it had been put behind us. But now it had come back to haunt me.

At least it was Morelli's fuck up that had her riled. I heard her kick him out and knew this was finally my chance. I wasn't going to blow it this time. We had danced around each other long enough and her sass and attitude just now had me aching to claim her.

Stephanie Plum may not realise it, but she was going to be mine.

* * *

 _TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

OK so I'm a sucker for everyone's kind comments and the requests from reviewers wanting to know what happened to Joe and Ranger... hopefully this will suffice. I will be away for a couple for weeks so this is definitely the last chapter to this extended one shot.

Thanks again everyone for your encouragement and kind words, and thanks to JE for creating such wonderful characters for us to enjoy.

Kate.

* * *

Joe's POV

Not only won't Cupcake return my calls, she's also had a restraining order placed on me. After holding me at gun point she made good on her threat and reported my book making activities to Chief Juniak. I can't believe she's reacting like this, she's even returned the few belongings that I left at her apartment. The neighbours found it very entertaining, she just pulled up, pitched them out of the window onto the foot path and took off. _Fuckers just laughed and took photos._

Juniak has confiscated my book and now has the names of everyone in the TPD who has placed a bet on Cupcake in the last three years. I swear it was just some harmless fun, but he's ordered everyone involved to undergo Sensitivity Training and also to complete community service. 40 hours each, but 80 hours for me since I was the one running the book. And it gets worse, he's asked Cupcake to nominate the areas of service, and which charity she would like the confiscated pool money donated to. If we don't agree to his terms we will be busted down to the lowest job possible and put on probation for Conduct Unbecoming.

Knowing Cupcake she'll have us all handing out information at the local STD clinic, just to give the Burg something to talk about.

* * *

Ranger's POV.

Stephanie's been avoiding me ever since she discovered Joe was the one running the book on her at the TPD. The woman has some serious righteous anger and damn it's a turn on. Not only has she kicked Morelli to the curb but she's also held me to account for some of my previous dumb ass remarks, telling me to find someone else for amusement.

I need her to listen to me, to take me seriously, to forgive me for all the stupid things I said in the past. She's the most intriguing, exciting, bewitching woman I have ever met and I'm done trying to resist her. She had every right to doubt and dismiss me, so I would have to do something different, something out of the box that she would never expect, to prove the sincerity of my feelings.

The plan was simple and straight forward, now I just had to execute it. Timing was everything and I hoped it would work. I was about to do something I hadn't done since high school, and I never thought I would be doing again. I was going to ask a woman, hopefully my woman, on a date. I knocked on the door at precisely 7 minutes to six. The door was opened by Babe's grandmother, a woman in her seventies who struck fear in the hearts of my men due to her wandering hands.

"Good evening Mrs Mazur, I'm sorry for the untimely intrusion. I don't want to hold you from dinner, but I was wondering if I could have a quick word with Stephanie?"

Babe's grandmother looked me up and down with a sly smile on her face and insisted I step inside.

I followed her to the living room where Frank Plum was parked in his favourite chair. Mrs Plum was bustling around in the dining room, placing dishes on the table for the evening meal. She stopped what she was doing immediately when she laid eyes on me, mouth hanging open. It took her a minute to regain her composure and for her Burg manners to kick in.

"Why, Mr Manoso …" she seemed flummoxed "we were about to have dinner, would you care to join us?"

At that moment my Babe came out of the kitchen and caught sight of us all in the lounge room. She couldn't hide the surprise and curiosity on her face and slowly entered the room, watching the interaction between me and her mother with well-founded suspicion.

"Please, call me Carlos Mrs Plum, and thank you for the offer but I don't want to intrude. I knew Stephanie would be here tonight and I just wanted to give her these flowers and ask if she would go on a date with me this Friday night. Perhaps to Rossini's and then some dancing at the Country Club?" The last part was directed at Stephanie whose eyes had narrowed in recognition of my tactics to procure her mother as an ally. Rossini's was the best restaurant in the Burg and access to the Trenton Country Club was considered a distinct privilege to only the most respectable and influential residents of Trenton.

Mrs Plum didn't know what to say, looking hopefully between her daughter and myself. I had stacked the deck in my favour. There was no evidence of Ranger the "street thug" or mercenary. I was dressed in a charcoal grey Armani suit with silk shirt and tie, and bought Babe a bouquet of white daisies and yellow tiger lilies, her favourite flowers.

"Babe, Stephanie, would you do me the honour of going out on a date with me this Friday?" I asked, handing her the bouquet.

She paused a moment to enjoy the scent of the tiger lilies before answering. Mrs Plum was fidgeting and nearly bursting at the seams. I got the distinct impression that corporate Carlos, as Stephanie referred to this persona, met with Mrs Plum's approval and that if Stephanie didn't say yes there would be no pineapple upside down cake in the foreseeable future.

Stephanie nodded in reply. "Thank you Carlos. That would be lovely." I gave her one of my best smiles and kissed her on the cheek.

"You've made me a very happy man. I'll pick you up at 6?" She nodded again, speechless it seems, and possibly still a little sceptical.

"Mr Manoso, … Carlos, please, you must stay for dinner." Mrs Plum was going to give herself a brain aneurism with the speed in which her eyes flicked between Babe and myself.

"Carlos? It would be lovely if you would join us." Babe asked, waiting for me to make an excuse and bolt.

I simply smiled and accepted, enjoying the surprise reflected in Babe's eyes. She took my hand as we followed a beaming Mrs Plum to the dining room and were seated for what would be the first of many family meals together in the years to come.

* * *

 _Finis... and HEA definitely ensued._


End file.
